that I’ve been holding on, while you’ve been letting go ♥
I’m having a bit of a weak moment. So sue me. I miss having someone to wake up to in the morning, and fall asleep with at night. Someone to share crazy late night theories and stoned ramblings with, that would kiss the top of your head and tell you how fantastically wonderful your brain is, however silly the idea. I miss fighting over who would be the little spoon, and fending you off from the shower. I miss in-jokes, pokemon and losing at mario kart. I miss your silly rubber faces and the knowing expression you’d pull when I did something overly ridiculous. I miss the smell of your mum’s washing powder, and that patch of skin on your neck that I could only reach on my tippy-toes…I even miss how totally unreliable you were.
It has been a month or so, and I still miss you every day. September’s drawing closer and I know that I’ll have to see you again soon, and that scares the hell out of me. My heart’s still beating out of time &I’m not where I wanted to be, and I don’t want you to see me like this. I wanted to at least pretend that I could be strong without you.
I keep trying to tell myself that I’m better off, that you were bad news, but honestly…